


And They Were Roommates (Oh My God They Were Roommates)

by Interrobang



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern with Magic, F/F, Misunderstandings, Roommates, Sharing a Bed, and it's only gonna get worse, last chapter is more of a summary/outline of how it would have gone :(, major Disaster Lesbian vibes for this story, you've heard of u-haul lesbians now get ready for THIS mess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-06
Updated: 2021-01-02
Packaged: 2021-02-27 14:35:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 18,660
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22138681
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Interrobang/pseuds/Interrobang
Summary: The ad was simple:"W4W: 20sW seeking W to fill my space ASAP. Me: Tiefling, very very cute, could probably lift you over my head but would rather draw you like one of my Xhorhassian girls. Do not respond if you hate weasels!!!! Contact Jester for more details."Beau had seen vaguer personal ads, if not many. Hell, she’d responded to vaguer, much weirder ones: ads that turned out to be about an actual cat needing grooming, or a sink that needed unclogging, or, most notably (and disappointingly), a sex toy manufacturer that literally needed someone to throw dildos at a wall to test their durability.The point was that Craiglist was a weird place full of weird people, and Beau was one of them. It never hurt to be open to new experiences, right?--In which Jester puts out an ad for a roommate, Beau responds thinking it's for a hookup, and it all works out in the end.
Relationships: Beauregard Lionett & Caleb Widogast, Jester Lavorre/Beauregard Lionett, Minor or Background Relationship(s)
Comments: 73
Kudos: 435





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I'm still new to this fandom, so let me know if I need to adjust anything. I literally am going feral over this ship. They're so good. I'm very excited to write the rest of this fic. I'm estimating 5 chapters to do what I want to with this story.

The ad was simple: 

_W4W: 20sW seeking W to fill my space ASAP. Me: Tiefling, very very cute, could probably lift you over my head but would rather draw you like one of my Xhorhassian girls. Do not respond if you hate weasels!!!! Contact Jester for more details._

Beau had seen vaguer personal ads, if not many. Hell, she’d _responded_ to vaguer, much _weirder_ ones: ads that turned out to be about an actual cat needing grooming, or a sink that needed unclogging, or, most notably (and disappointingly), a sex toy manufacturer that literally needed someone to throw dildos at a wall to test their durability.

The point was that Craiglist was a weird place full of weird people, and Beau was one of them. It never hurt to be open to new experiences, right?

“It’s probably fine,” Beau muttered to herself. “I’ll just… make sure the weasel isn’t a sex thing. Yeah. No weasels in bed, that’s a good boundary to enforce.” She gulped, steeling herself before dialing the number in the ad.

The person answering the phone seemed excited to hear from her.

“Hey, I’m calling about your, uh, your ad?” Beau said by way of greeting.

“Hi!!!” was the enthusiastic response. Beau could all but hear the extra exclamation points. “Oh! Yeah, are you interested? I, like, _really_ need someone soon,” the voice on the other side of the phone said conspiratorially. 

“Sorry, um--” Beau muttered. She could feel herself flush. “I haven’t, uh-- I haven’t really done this kind of thing before.”

“Me neither! The other voice said brightly. “But it seemed like fun. My friend gave me the idea. And I’ve already met some _really_ nice people, but none of them really worked out, you know?”

“Oh,” Beau said, choking a bit on her next words. “Lots of, uh, takers, then?”

“Some,” the voice on the end said, sounding like it was accompanied by a shrug. “One really _huge_ half-orc lady came by and she basically wore me out just showing her where all the pipes were, but it’s okay, because I learned a bunch about my plumbing that time too!”

“Wow, okay,” Beau said, impressed. Damn, this one was adventurous. That was probably good. Beau could use a good adventure.

“So do you want to come?”

Beau swallowed. “Boy, do I,” she said as calmly as she could. 

\--

When Beau arrived the next evening as they had agreed, it was not to what she was expecting. The ad had said “tiefling, very very cute,” but that hadn’t quite covered it. The blue tiefling that greeted Beau at the door was beyond cute, her outfit bordering on excessively frilly. Cream-colored dress with what Beau was sure were _multiple_ petticoats, stockings that ended with little cat faces high on her blue thighs, actual _bells and ribbons_ delicately arranged on her horns so that she jingled with every step. Well, bounce. The tiefling barely seemed able to control her excitement.

“You’re Jester?” Beau asked as calmly as she could. 

“Yes!” The tiefling said, she grabbed Beau’s outstretched hand in both of hers and shook it up and down enthusiastically. “I’m so glad you’re here. I was having like a _really_ hard time finding someone after the last person backed out of our arrangement, so it’s really cool that you’re here.” She pulled Beau into the apartment.

“Yup, that’s me,” Beau said, starting to sweat. “Super cool with, uh, _arrangements.”_ Jester turned to guide her further into the apartment, and it was then that Beau realized Jester’s tail seemed to have a mind of its own, twisting behind her and just _barely_ raising the back of her frilly skirt. She had enough layers on that Beau couldn’t see anything, but jeeze, what a tease. Beau grinned. This could be good.

Beau tried very, very hard not to ogle the woman in front of her as she was led through a desolately bare hallway to a similarly empty kitchen. She was wearing a little shrug over her voluminous skirts, but Beau knew the outline of defined muscles when she saw them. Jester was on the short side but _stacked_ in as many definitions as Beau could think of, and all of it bounced a bit when she skipped down the hall.

“Do you want anything to drink before we get started?” Jester asked as she fussed with some containers on the countertop. “I have milk, or juice or water or some of this weird tea my friend made me from _dead people_ that’s kind of funky but tastes okay--”

“I was kind of expecting something harder?” Beau asked carefully. “Just to loosen up, you know?”

Jester frowned. “I don’t really drink, but if you stay you can buy your own,” Jester finally acquiesced. She looked hopeful. “Maybe next time? Oh! I have pastries. This one has black moss-- you should _totally_ try it.” With that, she pressed a crumbling black piece of baked something-or-other into Beau’s hands, then led her out of the kitchen.

She gestured broadly to the nearly empty living room. Her demeanor suggested Beau should be impressed with the ORKEA couch and single table lamp that sat on the floor beside it. 

“Ta-da!” She wiggled her fingers for extra emphasis and grinned at Beau. “The main room. It’s pretty empty now but I have a _lot_ of art to put up.”

“Okay,” Beau said around a mouthful of pastry. It wasn’t actually half-bad, for a mystery baked good. Kind of nutty. A little like eating undercooked chestnuts in that sort of soft-and-mealy way. “You, uh, do your thing out here?”

“I’m _trying_ to get a sturdy table, but I haven’t found one I really liked yet,” Jester admitted. “But I can do my art anywhere really, as long as I can sit down! So the couch is okay for now.”

“Oh. No bedroom?” She swallowed the last of the-- did Jester say _moss_ pastry?-- and wiped her hands on her pants.

Jester brightened again. “Yeah, but, oh, the _bathroom_ , Beau, it’s so nice, let me show you--” Jester grabbed her hand again, pulling Beau down the short hallway. “It has a _soaking tub_ for _real baths_! It’s the main reason I moved here, like, every other place had a _tiny_ bathroom and _no_ room to relax. This one is big enough for two people!” She frowned. “Or maybe just one person, if you were, like, an orc? But probably three if it was a bunch of halflings.” 

“Okay…” Beau said, trying to see where this was leading.

“And,” Jester said, beaming once more, “It has a handheld shower head if you want to clean up after getting _really_ dirty.” She waggled her eyebrows. “It’s a _lot_ of fun, _if_ you know what I mean.”

“Oh,” Beau said, flushing. Jester was still holding her hand. “Yup. Gotcha.”

“This is the room I want to rent,” Jester said, pulling her to an empty room along the hall. Beau glanced in. There was a wide curtainless window and an empty closet and not much else, though at least the carpets looked clean. 

“Looks nice,” Beau said to be polite. “Good, uh, fung shui, I guess?”

Jester nodded. “Yeah, it gets _really_ good light. I thought about taking it but the other room has a ceiling fan and walk-in closet, and I was here first, you know? So I was like, _ooh_ , _dibs_! And there was no one here to fight me about it.” She tucked a lock of hair behind her ear, expression turning soft. “I’ve never gotten to choose my own room before, you know?”

“Me neither,” Beau admitted, feeling her vicious flush fade to mere warmth. This girl was genuinely sweet. It almost made Beau feel bad for not being more serious about the little tour she was being given. “Must be nice, huh?”

Jester immediately brightened again. “Yeah! Oh, I can _show_ you, c’mon, here, here--” She once again dragged Beau a few steps down the hall to one last door. In contrast to the rest of the apartment, this door was heavily decorated, a sign saying _The Traveler Welcomes You_ in what appeared to be glitter glue, accompanied by a rainbow of different drawings of dicks all over it, attached firmly to the outside.

The inside appeared to be where Jester was currently storing literally everything she owned. The small space was almost completely filled by a four-poster bed covered in gauzy curtains, several colorful quilts and a mess of at least half a dozen pillows piled on top. There was a mountain of clothes covering a high-backed chair; a small mobile made of dark feathers and various buttons and pieces of glass dangled from the aforementioned ceiling fan. A dresser covered in a random assortment of what looked like makeup, art supplies, and various spell components stood next to the door to the closet, whose door was draped with scarves to the point that it seemed unable to shut.

There was also a line of various dicks protruding from the wall right by the door. Beau almost walked right into one, barely slapping her hand up in time to wave its weirdly-ridged girth out of the way before it poked her eye out.

Oh, _there_ was the sexy component of the evening.

“Nice selection,” Beau said approvingly. She inspected the display further. They appeared to be suction-cupped to the smooth wall, arranged in a rainbow of glass, silicon, and metal. “These look expensive. Get any good use out of em?”

“Oh, _so_ much,” Jester said. “I’ve had to get _really_ creative with them, though, because I have a lot. People keep giving them to me as gifts, I guess because sometimes I draw them naughty stuff? But I have _so_ many now, so I started using them as coat hangers.” She draped her cardigan on one to demonstrate, leaving her shoulders bare. The movement exposed a glimmer of something that instantly had Beau captivated.

“Woah, that’s a-- that’s a really nice tat,” Beau couldn’t help but say. She hesitantly lifted one hand up to draw a finger along the sparkling line of the clasped hands along the tiefling’s collarbones, drawing the back of her fingernail down to her cleavage before drawing away.

“Mmm, yeah,” Jester said, giggling. She leaned a little into Beau’s touch, preening under her gaze. “It’s _diamond,_ you know? And it hurt _super_ bad when I got it, but it’s fine now, and--” she leaned in conspiratorially-- “It’s _magic_.”

“O-oh,” Beau stuttered. She cleared her throat, trying to regain her composure. “So, big bed, dick display, cool magic tattoo...anything else you want to show me before we get anywhere?”

Jester flopped back on her giant bed, her skirts poofing up around her. Her tail whipped smartly between her ankles, curling back and forth like an excited cat’s. She patted the bed next to her. When Beau slowly sat down, almost close enough to brush their thighs together, Jester leaned over and grabbed her hand again. 

“I don’t think I have anything else to show you,” Jester said with an open smile. “Do you?”

Beau shook her head in the negative. Now was the time.

Beau lifted Jester’s hand to her lips, laying a gentle kiss there as she looked into Jester’s eyes, wide and sparkling with mischief, the smattering of ultramarine freckles across her nose and cheeks drawing darker with a slight flush. 

“So, Beau…” Jester said, her grin punctuated what Beau could only describe as fangs. “Do you want to do it?”

“Hell yeah,” Beau breathed. She leaned in to carry the kiss to Jester’s face-- then was instantly almost gored by curling black horn as Jester pounced on her, wrapping surprisingly strong arms around Beau’s torso in a monster hug.

“Oh, Beau, this is so good, I’m so happy you said yes!” Jester squealed into Beau’s ears.

Her joy was infectious. Beau found herself fighting a confused smile despite the weird vibe of the whole encounter. She patted Jester’s back. “Okay, Jes, yeah, I’m in-- can we get to the fun part now?”

“Oh, okay,” Jester said, as if something was just clicking into place for her. “You must _really_ like paperwork, huh?” 

Beau paused. _What?_ “Uh… you need paperwork for this? That’s, uh...intense.”

“I thought it was _super_ boring, but my Momma’s friend Bluud made me read _all_ of it before I signed anything so I wouldn’t get conned out of, like, trash pickup or anything.”

“Trash pickup?” Beau’s brow furrowed further.

“And repairs and cleaning fees and stuff,” Jester said with a nod. “When do you want to move in?”

“Oh, it’s _that_ kind of arrangement.” Shit, she must have been _way_ kinkier than her initial ad suggested. “I’m not sure if I’m that, uh, _committed,”_ Beau said. “Can I...have a day to think?”

“Oh, yeah, I guess,” Jester said, her tail drooping. “I really need someone soon, though, it’s _super_ lonely here by myself.”

“Okay,” Beau said, nodding. Wow, she’d really need some time to think about this. How often did you find a Dom on a personal ad site that was actually cute _and_ wanted you to be a live-in partner? This could either be really good or really bad. 

“Oh, I know!” Jester said suddenly. “You can come over for dinner tomorrow and tell me your decision then. I can cook a little.” She frowned slightly, though she grabbed Beau’s hands in hers once again. “I’m better at baking, but I don’t know many people besides me that could just eat cake for dinner.”

“Oh, I’m good at-- at eating,” Beau said as smoothly as she could. “But I might need some time to-- uh-- t-to adjust...” She slid off the bed, slowly making her way out of Jester’s crowded bedroom and towards the door. Once again she was struck by how _empty_ the rest of the apartment was. But the door wasn’t far, and she suddenly _really_ needed fresh air. This was a little more extreme than she'd envisioned from the original script.

“Great!” Jester followed her to the door, opening it for her with a flourish. “Come back tomorrow!! I’ll make it worth it, I _promise.”_

“Yeah,” Beau said, giving an awkward wave as she backed away from the townhouse. “I’m sure you will.”

“Putting out that ad to rent out the other room was the best idea I’ve ever had!” Jester beamed that toothy smile again. “We are going to be _best friends,_ Beau, I promise!”

And she slammed the door. 

Rent? Best friends? Beau frowned as she walked away. Was this not a rich-frilly-femmedom-takes-in-pet situation? Was that something you had to pay rent for?

She flashed back to the empty bedroom. The bare living space, like Jester had just barely moved in. The talk about trash pickup and _contracts_ and-- oh--

 _Oh_.

Had she read the ad wrong? 

Beau paused on the sidewalk, gripping her head to try and quash a sudden throbbing headache.

Shitballs. She’d done it again: another ad, another failure, this one with actual stakes. It had seemed too weird to be true, and somehow it had _still_ taken her this long to realize. Usually she’d at least figure it out when she met the person who’d posted the ad. Jester had blinded her, with her bouncing curves and decorated horns and the _tail,_ god, did she not know how to control her tail?

Well, one dinner couldn’t hurt. Beau didn’t have to actually _move in_ , right? She could clear the misunderstanding, maybe they could laugh over it, and maybe, just _maybe,_ Beau could still get this to work out how she’d originally intended. She wasn’t really looking to move right now; her situation at Dairon’s was still pretty stable, if not ideal. And Jester was almost unbearably attractive, but…

No. This was cool. Beau could deal. It was cool and good and _fine,_ and Beau was going to have dinner with a cute girl tomorrow and _not_ make an ass of herself because she was bad at reading signals and probably basically just reading in general, considering how badly she’d misinterpreted the ad. 

It would be _fine._


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Caleb and Nott give Beau advice. Beau goes to dinner with Jester.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And now we get into plot. :)

After a rough morning (not much sleep, and then _Dairon_ had happened), Beau was ready to get in some volunteer hours at the Archives to clear her head. Today, however, she was joined in the normally quiet building by Caleb. He, too, took as many opportunities to visit the library, as long as he was in Beau’s company. Something Beau was usually happy to provide. But maybe not today.

“I must admit, Beauregard, I have been in some pickles in my lifetime, but never one as desperate and strange as this,” Caleb said with a hint of amusement as he sorted a pile of books in front of him. 

“Yeah, I know,” Beau hissed as she sorted her own pile. “It’s fucking sad, _I’m_ sad, but what do I _do_?”

Around them the Cobalt Soul’s archives rustled with quiet footsteps, muffled conversations, and the occasional flutter of paper through the still air. There was an air of reverence around the building, like perhaps one should not raise their voice too loud or else face dire consequences.

And so Beau whispered as well as she could...which was admittedly not well.

“It all happened so fast, Caleb.” Beau winced. “One minute I’m there and she’s flirting-- I think she was flirting?-- and talking about _bathing together_ , and then the next she’s hugging me and thanking me for moving in! I don’t know man, it all-- it just fuckin’ blurred together, dude.”

“Perhaps she was flirting, perhaps not,” Caleb mused, absently flipping through a book as he spoke. “Do you think she was intentionally being deceptive?”

“I--” Beau took a deep breath. “I don’t _think_ she was? She seemed really sweet, dude. I think I’m actually the asshole here.”

“ _J_ _a,_ you probably are,” Caleb said with a small laugh. He put the last book in his pile down into one of a dozen sub-piles. “As usual, and as per your own frequent admittance. Help me take these back to their homes.”

They worked in silence for nearly half an hour, putting away books into their proper slots in the shelves one by one until the stack was nearly diminished. As they walked back to the volunteers’ work station, Caleb clapped Beau on the shoulder.

“Would you be considering her offer if she _didn’t_ want to, ah, have her way with you?”

“Uh.” Beau flushed. “Yeah, I...yeah, I think I would.” She bit her lip. “But I don’t really have a choice right now, either. This morning Dairon said I should start looking for other places to live. Apparently she has other trainees to take in, and since I’m almost graduated I need to either apply for Cobalt Soul housing or find another option. And-- and Jester seems like a good option. Weird Craigslist shit aside,” she added with a frown.

“Who is this Craig, anyway, and why does he have a list?” Caleb mused as he sat down at the volunteer station. He tapped his fingers in a line distractedly.

“I hear he’s a bugbear,” came a hoarse whisper as Nott popped her head up from under the desk.

Beau jumped, fighting a shriek of surprise. “Shit, Nott, what the _fuck_? Were you just waiting down there for us?”

“I have Caleb’s lunch,” the goblin replied with a smirk as she clambered out from her hiding place. “That Archivist Zentangle or whatever has a thing against unaccompanied goblins roaming the stacks, so I thought I’d just hang out here. _Stealthily ,_ ” she added with a smirk. She turned to Caleb, handing over a paper bag that had a large smiley face drawn on the front. “Here you go, Cay-Cay, a complete and healthy meal. Baby carrots, hummus, a fruit cup, _and_ I even cut the sandwich into triangles for you,” she said, beaming.

“You left the crusts on?” Caleb asked, eyebrows raised. His eyes sparkled with exasperated affection. 

“Of course. You need your fiber. I _almost_ went to that weird vegan restaurant to get you one of their tofu bran muffins too, but _someone_ told me to stay away upon threat of silent treatment, so here we are.”

“You do not need to go there,” Caleb said, cheeks coloring. “I _told_ you that Caduceus is not-- we are not-- Whoa, _hey_ , Nott, what a coincidence,” Caleb said flatly, clearly trying to change the subject. “Beau is having troubles of her own. She thought she was going to get snatched up by a frilly dominatrix. And--”

“And you’re going to tell me _all_ about it,” Nott all but screeched, whipping around to half climb Beau’s torso. As it was, she tugged Beau down until she could grip Beau’s cheeks in her knobby hands, yellow eyes glaring into Beau’s own. “ _Immediately_!This sounds like it’ll be better than whatever smutty book you found left in the stacks last time.”

“Ish nofing,” Beau said through her squished cheeks. She pried the goblin’s hands off her, setting Nott gently on the floor. “I answered another one of those personal ads, you know? And it wasn’t what I thought it was. Not the first time it’s happened.”

“Damn that Craig, and his lists,” Nott said, pounding one fist into the flat palm of the other hand. “Bugbears should _not_ have that much web design knowledge. It’s not natural.” 

“Yeah, bugbears,” Beau deflected. “They’re always so--”

“But you,” Nott said, a gleam in her eyes. “You found your _dream girl?_ Someone to hold you down _and_ hold you tight? Pull your hair and feed you little cakes after?”

“Those were _private fantasies_ ,” Beau hissed, eyes flicking to Caleb. For his part, Caleb only seemed faintly amused and glad to have Nott’s attention off of his love life. “And _no,_ it turns out she probably posted in the wrong channel and it was just for a room to rent.”

“Was she cute?” Nott said, eyes sparkling. Beau could just see the cogs of the gossip mill turning in her brain.

“She-- yeah, tiefling, blue, little curly horns-- it’s not important,” Beau stuttered, fighting a blush. “She wasn’t interested.”

“ _Oh_?” Nott said, long ears perking up.

“You said she talked about bathing together,” Caleb cut in through a mouthful of sandwich. 

“Because the apartment has a big bath, that’s all,” Beau insisted. “And okay, yeah, she was fucking _cute_ , okay? But that’s not something to move out over.”

“Oh,” Nott said, frowning. “And you live with Dairon. You don’t need to move.”

“I...it’s complicated,” Beau said, nervously rubbing the back of her head. She was due for shave soon, she thought distractedly. The fuzz was getting a little long. “I graduate to full expositor status soon. She wants me to move out. Either into Cobalt Soul housing or somewhere else. It doesn’t really matter, but--”

“But you have this wonderful opportunity, of course,” Nott said, nodding in understanding.

“Yeah,” Beau finished lamely. 

After a pause, Nott grabbed her hand. Beau looked up from the ground to meet Nott’s eyes. For once they seemed filled not with manic mischief but with genuine kindness. 

“I think you should do it,” Nott said firmly. “You need a place to live, she needs someone to live with her. You _like_ her, probably. Are you meeting again?”

“Tonight,” Beau said, swallowing thickly. “For dinner. She said she’s better at baking but she wants to cook for me. She’s almost weirdly nice, actually? She gave me a, uh, moss pastry when I was in there yesterday."

“Then you _woo_ this woman, whoever she is. Move in and then _move in_ , if you know what I mean,” Nott said, making her eyebrows dance unsettlingly. 

“Oh, fuck off,” Beau said, laughing and shoving Nott away.

“I’m serious, Beau,” Nott said, backing away towards the archive doors. “I suddenly but for no suspicious reason have to go, but you should whisk her off her feet! Take her on an all-inclusive trip to pound town!”

Beau threw her a middle finger in response, collapsing into a chair as soon as the doors had closed behind Nott.

“So, dinner?” Caleb said placidly. 

“Not you, too,” Beau said, dropping her face into her hands.

\--

The second time Beau knocked on Jester’s door, she was greeted in much the same manner as the first time, the difference being that Jester eschewed the handshake and tugged Beau in for a full-body hug instead, including a little wrap of her tail around Beau’s ankle. Beau tried very hard not to look as tense and weird as she felt, carefully returning the hug like she did this all the time. 

“Heya, Jes,” Beau said with as composed a smile as she could muster. “How’ve you been?”

“Beau, I have been _so_ good,” Jester said seriously, her eyes wide. “I found a table and chairs by a dumpster, and they hardly even stink. And Sprinkle got here today!!”

“Sprinkle?” Beau said, still holding onto her smile. “Who’s Sprinkle?”

“My weasel!” Jester said, beaming. “My momma’s friend Bluud brought him to me. He’s a ferret, but maybe not, I don’t actually know? Not Bluud, I mean. Sprinkle. He’s pretty big for a ferret.” She tugged Beau into the apartment, gesturing into the living room. In addition to the simple couch and lamp there was now a large cage full of fabric and bells and things that presumably a small animal would enjoy playing with. “Maybe he’s a dire ferret,” Jester said with a small wrinkle in her forehead. “It would explain a lot.”

“Like…?” Beau prompted. She wasn’t going to live with a vicious animal, was she?

“He’s just, like, _really_ big, and he can get nippy sometimes? But only if you have food he wants,” she assured Beau. “And he’s _super_ smart. I had to put extra locks on the door of his cage because he always gets out.”

“Ah,” Beau said flatly, eyeing the cage, which did, in fact, have extra latches and twists in the door to keep it closed. “But he’s not, uh...mean? Bitey?”

“Of course not.” Jester patted Beau on the shoulder, her fingers lingering. “He’s just a little weasel, Beau. He’s _super_ sweet. He likes scrambled eggs, not people fingers.”

“Good to know,” Beau said, feeling faint. “And where is he now?”

“Napping on my bed,” Jester said with a bright grin. “He likes to burrow into all my blankets and pillows. Oh my gosh, Beau, it’s _adorable_. But I don’t want to bother him just to show you,” she said, worrying her lip with one fang. “Maybe when it’s his bedtime.”

“Mmm,” Beau hummed noncommittally.

“But first we have dinner!” Jester declared, pushing Beau into the kitchen with two hands on her shoulders. “I! Made! Pasta!” she sang with bravado, doing a little spin and posing with her hands displaying the food on the table. “I even got wine, since you said you wanted something like that yesterday!”

“That’s-- very sweet, Jes,” Beau said, trying not to choke on her tongue. This girl really was too nice. And the little tail curl that went with the flourishes? Absolutely darling. This was going to be harder than she’d thought.

“I made spaghetti and garlic bread and _giant_ meatballs. And a _surprise_ for dessert,” she said with an exaggerated wink. Beau flushed, fighting the urge to claw at her rapidly-heating face. Was this intentional? Or was Jester really just like this?

“Sounds great,” Beau said, trying to keep a straight face. 

Jester pranced around the kitchen arranging dishes, pulling what truly were massive meatballs out of the oven. Her oven mitts were shaped like hearts. This was too much. All that was missing was the frilly apron. In fact, speaking of clothes…

If anything, Jester’s outfit this time seemed even more designed to entice than the last time. Another skirt, this one shorter but...swishier? Fewer petticoats but more fabric. It swirled around as Jester danced through her kitchen, socked feet padding over the linoleum. The little halter top she was wearing with it only seemed to accentuate her strong shoulders and frankly stunning cleavage. 

And the tail. The _tail_. Once again Jester’s tail seemed to have a mind of its own: it swished as she walked, curled as she twirled, and flicked back and forth excitedly as Jester dropped each dish off at the table where Beau sat. It had a small pink bow tied right at the base of the spaded tip, the ribbon trailing through the air with each twitch of the appendage.

“So you like to cook?” Beau asked, trying to be sociable. “That’s cool.”

“I like eating more than cooking,” Jester admitted, “but it can be really fun to find new foods. Caduceus is always telling me to be more adventurous about what I eat because I was _really_ picky when I first met him, so he always sends me home with new things to try.” She set a dish of fragrant bread on the table before sitting with a flourish, patting her skirt down. “I made the meatballs myself, though. Caduceus doesn’t eat meat.” Beau glanced down, then fought a grin. Jester’s tail had wrapped around one leg of the chair.

Wait, Caduceus? Beau frowned. Why did that name sound familiar?

“Where did you say you worked, again?”

“I work at that vegan tavern downtown,” Jester said, already scooping pasta and bread onto her plate. “The Fragrant Fungus. I’m a server. I mean I’m a cleric too, but that doesn’t pay the bills when no one knows who your god is.” She wrinkled her nose. “At least the restaurant makes good money.”

“I know the place. That’s...yeah. Not the most appealing name,” Beau said with a laugh, helping herself to a slice of _thoroughly_ garlicky bread. “My friend goes there a lot. I don’t know if she actually eats the stuff she buys there, though? She’s convinced the granola has actual sand in it. She gives it to her roommate. Claims he’s too skinny, needs feeding up.”

“Ish not sand,” Jester said around a mouthful of spaghetti. “It’s ground chia and flax. It has, uh… ‘essential fatty acids for a balanced lipid composition.’”

“That what Caduceus says?” Beau asked with a grin. 

“Yeah,” Jester said, giggling. “It _does_ make it super crunchy, though. Have some wine, Beau! I bought it just for you!” She poured a glass for Beau and pushed it over, setting it back down and taking a sip of what appeared to be plain milk. “Well, _I_ didn’t, but my friend Nott did. She said it was _super_ important to impress you because you sounded super cool and I probably wouldn’t find anyone better that I could spend my life with.”

Fucking _Nott._ They were going to have words later. Beau flushed and fought the urge to sink into her seat as Jester continued around another mouthful of noodles. “I think she meant for the length of the lease? But you _do_ seem super cool. You’re all…” she gestured wildly at Beau’s entire body, as if that would clear anything up.

“I’m…?”

“All _buff_ and you have _cool hair_ and you didn’t make fun of my weasel or my dick rack or--” Jester continued, looking a bit pink in the cheeks. “You just seem _super_ awesome and like, you sounded really excited to meet me on the phone? Some of the people I talked to were really creepy, like they wanted to know if we could meet in some super sketchy places first, you know?”

“Aw, Jes,” Beau said, reaching across the table to grab the tiefling’s hand before she could help herself. “The internet is full of assholes.” _I’m one of them._ “I’m glad I found your ad. The place looks really nice. Right now I live with my, uh--” How did one describe Dairon? “My mentor, but she said I have to move out soon, so…”

“You’ll stay?” Jester said, leaning forward across the table. Her other hand stacked on top of Beau’s, sandwiching Beau’s suddenly-sweaty hand between her two cool ones. “Really?”

A distant _clink_.

Beau licked her lips, carefully keeping her line of sight on Jester’s eyes. “Yeah. Actually, Jester, there’s something I need to--”

Down the hall: _jingle jingle ting clang taptaptaptaptaptap..._

Before she could admit her sins, the sound of a loudly jingling bell approached, accompanied by clattering little claws before what was most definitely an oversized ferret wound its way up Beau’s legs, climbing into her lap and then onto the table, digging into a meatball with gusto.

“Sprinkle!” Jester exclaimed, jumping up from her seat and yanking the ferret off the table. Its two front paws continued grasping the chunk of meat, chattering furiously as its lower body limply swung back and forth from Jester’s hands. “Rude! You are such a rude little boy!”

“That’s...Sprinkle, huh,” Beau said, wiping sauce off her front. “Cool. Cool cool cool. This is fine.”

“I am _so_ so sorry,” Jester said apologetically, still swinging the ferret with one hand. “He _had_ dinner earlier, but I guess he’s feeling naughty tonight.” She lifted the animal up with one hand, bouncing him like a baby up above her head. “Back to gay baby jail with you!” she announced sternly. She marched over to his cage in the living room. Beau watched from the doorway was Jester unlatched no less than five locks to open the door before unceremoniously tossing the chattering animal back into a pile of soft fabric and toys. 

“That’ll teach him,” Jester said, dusting her hands off. She looked up at Beau from under her eyelashes, suddenly seeming nervous. “He didn’t ruin dinner, did he?”

“No way,” Beau said, grimace mellowing. “He may have gotten his furry butt on my plate, but there’s still wine. Good wine shouldn’t be wasted.”

“I really am sorry,” Jester said again, shoulders drooping. She held her tail in her hands, all but wringing it in her nervousness. “I have dessert though, if you want to stay?”

“Of course I’ll stay, Jester,” Beau said, voice soft. She allowed Jester to walk past her back into the kitchen, watching as the tiefling pulled something out of the refrigerator, setting a container on the counter top and fiddling with it for several moments. She seemed calmer now, if a bit deflated. Maybe this was the right moment.

Beau walked as quietly as she could-- which was, admittedly, nearly silently-- behind Jester, tucking up behind her. Carefully, she gently set one hand on Jester’s hip, the other on the counter beside her, almost caging her in against it. Once more, Jester’s tail flicked against her leg before curling around one of Beau’s ankles. Beau was never going to get used to that. 

“Thank you for having me,” Beau said softly, murmuring it into the back of Jester’s head. The tiefling was a couple inches shorter than Beau, almost the perfect height for Beau to rest her chin on the top of Jester’s head. 

“Do you want to stay?” Jester asked softly. “Even--” Beau was sure she could hear a wobbly lip in her voice. “Even if you don’t want to stay you can still have some of the apple tart. I made the apple slices look like a rose, see?”

Beau tilted her head to look over Jester’s shoulder. Indeed, the thinly sliced apples were intricately layered to look like flower petals. 

“It’s gorgeous, Jes.” _Like you._ “I can definitely stay and eat it with you. It looks delicious.”

Jester leaned into Beau’s embrace, tearily smiling up at her over her shoulder. “It took me a _long_ time, but I wanted it to be perfect, you know?”

Beau’s heart quivered in her throat.

“Jes, I--”

“Beau, do you like me?” Jester asked suddenly. She turned in Beau’s arms so that they were facing each other. Beau instantly let go of her and took half a step back.

“I-- uh--” Beau stuttered. “Yes?” she ran her hand over the back of her head in a nervous gesture, sure her cheeks were on fire. “I do. I really do. A lot.”

“Oh, _Beau_ ,” Jester breathed. “I like you too.” She looked up at Beau from under her eyelashes. “Does that mean you... want to be with me?”

“I-- yeah?” Beau said, voice cracking. Not this again. The _phrasing. Don’t get your hopes up, Beau._ “I’ll, uh, I’ll be here.”

Jester beamed. Beau’s heart promptly quivered and rocketed down into her gut. “I can’t wait to live with you, Beau!” 

Beau followed, dumbstruck, as Jester carried the tarte over to the table, cutting wide slices for each of them as she chattered about all the things they would need to buy and the paperwork they would have to do, and oh, did Beau already have furniture, or did she want help getting some, and did Beau have any food allergies she needed to know about?

Beau answered, ate her slice of the tarte, and tried her best to quell the panic welling up in her throat. 

What had she done?


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jester and Beau go shopping. Tragedy strikes the Greater Area Mattress Factory.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> can you guess what my favorite trope is
> 
> (also holy dang this chapter got away from me-- it's almost as long as the previous two chapters combined!)

“Beau, we have a problem,” Jester said sternly. She was standing in the doorway of Beau’s new room, hands on her hips as she stared determinedly at the boxes Beau had hastily shoved her few belongings into when she’d left Dairon’s the week before. 

“We do?” Beau asked tentatively. _Did Nott spill the beans?_ Beau had been trying to figure out how to talk to Jester about the whole situation. Her feelings, her reasons for answering the ad in the first place... But Jester had just been funny and sweet and increasingly open with Beau about her childhood (lonely), family (single mother, moved to the coast) and dreams for the future (be a high priestess for the Traveller and run a theme park-slash-temple that included a baptism water slide). 

And Beau had just… not found the right moment. How exactly _did_ one go “Hey, I agreed to live here because I wanted to bone you” without effectively disintegrating any kind of foundation for friendship they’d built?

And now:

“A problem?” Beau prompted.

“Yes,” Jester said firmly. “You have like _no_ furniture, Beau. All you have are clothes and knives and apparently one million ball bearings. And it’s all on the floor!”

“I have furniture,” Beau said defensively. She gestured to her sleeping bag, which was neatly laid out in the center of the room. “I sleep there.” She pointed to the plank of plywood leaning against one wall that had stacks of notebooks next to it. “That’s my desk.” She nudged the pile of bricks and planks by her feet. “And this is going to turn into a bookcase eventually.”

Jester looked disturbed. “While I admire your creativity,” she said carefully, “You deserve actual furniture, Beau. Sleeping on the floor all the time is really bad for your back.”

“I don’t think I have room in here for a massive bed like yours, Jester,” Beau said apprehensively, thinking of the four-poster monstrosity that took up most of the space in Jester’s master bedroom. 

“Okay, no lavish dream castle, but you need a mattress at the very least,” Jester said. She gestured to the sleeping bag. “What are you going to do if you have _company,_ Beau?”

“Company?” Beau asked, unsure she liked where this was going.

“Yeah, _duh_ ,” Jester said as if Beau was missing an obvious point. “Sleeping bags are only romantic when you’re trapped on a mountainside in a snow drift together and you have to cuddle for warmth to survive. They’re not a lot of fun when you’re just in your _house_. That’s just boring.”

“And you know this how?” Beau asked, bemused. 

“It’s obvious, of course.” She tapped her foot as if thinking before snapping her fingers, decision made in a second. “Oh! We can go shopping today! You can get a real bed and we can stop at the Fungus. Caduceus said he had something for me to take home even though I don’t work today.”

Which was how Beau found herself at ORKEA with Jester, sharing a cart full of too many decorative throw pillows, three potted plants, and a scrap of paper with Beau’s room’s measurements on it. 

“You should get a really cushy mattress,” Jester said sagely as she danced her way through the displays. “A giant _squishy_ one, really deep so you can just burrow in. Or, _oooh_ , a water bed.”

“Wouldn’t that be just as bad for my back as the floor?” Beau asked. There were a _lot_ of mattresses to choose from.

“Of course not,” Jester assured her. “You just have to use it right.”

Beau was saved from further inquiries about “using a mattress right” by the appearance of a slender aasimar in a polo, holding a clipboard and looking vaguely bored by the proceedings.

“Can I help you ladies find anything?” the employee-- her nametag said Chasandra-- asked them.

“No, we’re fi--”

“We just moved in together,” Jester gushed, putting one arm around Beau’s waist. “And we need to find a mattress. It has to be pretty durable, if you know what I mean,” Jester said, waggling her eyebrows. “Withstand a lot of activity, you know?”

“She likes to jump on the bed,” Beau explained, flushing. “Not that we’re-- we’re not--”

“It’s perfectly fine,” the employee assured her, eyes barely brushing over Jester’s hand on Beau’s hip. “We see lots of first-time cohabitants here. Now did you want a frame with a headboard, or without? We have lots of options.”

“Ooh, definitely with,” Jester said, eyes gleaming. “You could tie someone to it if you have a headboard. Pret-ty sexy,” she sing-songed. 

_Jester, you’re going to kill me_ , Beau screamed internally. “No headboard is fine, because I do not need to tie anyone to it. I just need something to sleep on.”

“Would you like extra storage underneath the frame?”

“For your _personal_ items,” Jester said, making her eyebrows dance again. 

“Yes, because I have no dresser and I will be using it to store my extra clothes,” Beau said through gritted teeth. “ _Jester_.”

“Perfect,” Chasandra said, tapping a few notes into her tablet. “Then you can follow me this way, and I can suggest a few things to look at.”

They followed slowly, mostly because Jester made puppy eyes at Beau and roped her into flopping backwards on each mattress presented. They had to test them _properly,_ Jester insisted. 

“I’m, uh, grateful for your concern,” Beau said carefully once the employee eventually left them to their devices in front of a few final selections. “But where are you getting these ideas about what I’ll be doing on my bed?”

“I dunno,” Jester said with a shrug. “You’re super cool, and objectively really pretty, so there will probably be lots of people that want to come hang out with you?” She flopped back on their current tester mattress, raising one leg up in the air dramatically. “Like oooh, Beau, come ravish me. You are the sun, and I am a flower that needs to be pollinated by your rays.”

“I’m...not sure that’s how that relationship works,” Beau giggled, flopping on the bed next to her roommate. 

“Well, it’ll be something equally dramatic, I’m sure,” Jester said with a pat to Beau’s arm. “That’s how it always goes in the books anyway. The heroine swoons, and a hot dude is there to catch her, and then they fall in love and it’s perfect until a villain comes in and makes trouble.”

“You read a lot of those?” Beau asked. “Have you ever read _The Salty Sea_?”

“Oooh, that’s one of my favorites! What about _The Violet Petal_ , have you read that one?”

“Oh shit, _yeah_ , drow dynasty romances are the _best_ ,” Beau said with a sigh. “I like the one with the court guard, right, but she falls in love with the noble she’s supposed to protect, but the noble is getting married? And then they elope together instead?”

“Aww,” Jester cooed. “Or the one where they’re enemy spies? But they pretend to fall in love to learn more information about each other, but then they fall in love for _real_??”

“So good,” Beau sighed. “Hey, I have one for you. I won’t spoil it, but you gotta read it. I’ll give it to you when we get home.”

“Yeah, you’ll give it to me,” Jester said, nudging Beau suggestively. 

“You really just are like this, aren’t you?” Beau mused, grinning despite herself. “All right, I think I found the one. Let’s get out of here before we end up with any more frilly pillows. We already have a meatball-scented candle and--” She glanced at the cart. “Approximately one thousand decorative pillows. I think that’s enough extra stuff.”

The mattress would need to be delivered from the warehouse later that afternoon, but they were able to leave with a heavy box full of Beau’s bed frame, three pillows (which was a negotiation in itself, and one Beau still felt she’d lost), and the candle, which Beau wasn’t sure she would ever actually light, but which Jester seemed inordinately pleased by and said she would put on her personal shrine to the Traveler.

Thus arranged, they set out to haul their things (magically lightened by the store’s on-site enchanter) downtown on their way home.

“We won’t be here long,” Jester assured Beau when they propped their purchases against the front face of the shop. “I just need to say hi to Caduceus and pick something up.”

Beau had heard about the Fragrant Fungus. Mostly through Caleb and Nott...and even then, mostly through Nott. The unassuming little tavern was narrow but tall and sandwiched (pun intended) between two other storefronts. It had a glass window in the front that was packed with plants, the name of the place painted over the glass in a friendly script along with a cartoon mushroom that looked absolutely stoned out of its mind. 

“This is the place?” Beau asked skeptically as she eyed the skinny building. “My friend who goes here made it seem pretty, uh...granola.”

“Of course we sell granola,” Jester said brightly. “We’re an organic, locally-sourced market. Granola is one of our staples.”

“No, I mean, like...crunchy? Dirty?” Beau tried, wincing when Jester frowned.

“The Fungus is clean, Beau,” Jester chastised. “Caduceus takes _really_ good care of it. Just come in, you’ll see.” With that, she grabbed Beau’s hand and led her in, their purchases bumping along the door frame as they ducked inside. 

“Hello!! Caduceus?” Jester called over the chimes as the two of them stepped through the door. The inside of the building surprisingly cramped compared to the outside. There must have been other floors above this one. But what was there was cozy, with a number of booths and low seats and magical daylight warming the plant-filled interior. Almost every nook and cranny had a plant, moss, or crystal adorning its surfaces, all faintly shimmering with what Beau was sure was a bit of magic. 

There was a bell on the counter, which Jester immediately rang several times, to the chagrin of the few relaxing customers in the room. Beau winced and mouthed a “sorry!” to the ones that outright glared at them.

“Hello, Jester!” came a jovial voice as a new figure emerged from the back room. Wearing an apron with a near-comical amount of bows on it was an extremely tall firbolg. He looked tired, but happy to see Jester, drying his hands on a towel as he came up to the counter. He leaned all the way across it to hug the tiefling, who bounced in his embrace excitedly.

“You wore the apron I made you!” Jester squealed, pulling back to pluck at the many colorful bows on the apron. “And it’s long enough, good, I thought it would look silly if it was too short.”

 _Does it not look silly now?_ Beau thought-- but bit her tongue before she could make an ass of herself in front of a stranger. 

“It’s perfect, Jester,” Caduceus assured her. His violet eyes twinkled with amusement as he dusted flour off the frills on his sides. “I’m just working on a batch of ciabatta now, so it’s really helping me out.” He clapped his hands together softly. “Speaking of-- thank you very much for the tarte you left me the other day. It was beautiful. Very tasty.”

“Oh, Caduceus,” Jester whined, blushing a lovely purple as her eyes flicked back to Beau. “That was a practice tarte, it wasn’t finished. The real one was way better. Beau can tell you,” she said, bumping Beau with her shoulder. “She got to eat it!”

“Yup, I sure did eat it,” Beau said flatly, suddenly flushing under Caduecus’s gaze. “Hi. I’m Beau. I live with Jester now.” She reached out to offer a handshake.

“She told me she was looking,” Caduceus said with a nod, engulfing her hand in one of his own long, bony ones. “Good job, Jester. I’m so proud of you.”

“Yeah, Beau is like, _super_ cool, Caduceus,” Jester started as the door chime began to tinkle again. “But really bad at shopping. I had to help her pick out a bed today. We jumped on a bunch of them!”

“I see,” Caduceus said serenely, not seeming to actually understand at all. But the way he eyed Beau now seemed like he understood _something._ Beau began to sweat under his calm gaze. “And you found the right one in the end?”

“Mm-hmm,” Beau all but squeaked, flashing a brittle smile. “All set. Gonna get it delivered this afternoon. Thought we’d stop here first. Say, Jester,” she said through her teeth, “What _are_ we here for?”

“Caduceus said he had something to give me and _oh my gosh Nott is that you_?! You look so cute!”

Beau turned around slowly, smile still held warily in place. It hardened when she saw who was just coming in the door. 

“Jester!” Nott screeched, running up to the tiefling and grabbing her hands. They bounced together for a moment through their squealed greetings. “And you! Person I’ve never met before in my life! Hello!” The goblin stiffly grabbed and shook Beau’s hand, yanking her down to eye level and hissing “Play along!” in Beau’s ear. 

“Yeah, uh, howdy Stranger,” Beau said awkwardly. “And Caleb.”

“Mister Caleb’s here?” Caduceus looked up from where he’d been tidying the counter. “Well, hello, Mister Caleb,” he said with a warm smile. “What can I get you today? Do you have another headache? I just got some fresh chamomile in.”

“Ah, no, that will not be necessary,” Caleb said, deflecting the offer with a nervous wave of his hand. “I am just accompanying Nott today.”

“He calls you ‘Mister’ Caleb?” Beau hissed at him. “No one calls you ‘Mister.’”

“Caduceus does, because he is a very polite individual,” Caleb whispered back warily, shooting her a warning look. “And how are you today, Mister Clay?”

“Quite well, quite well,” Caduceus said cheerfully. “Haven’t seen you in a few days, but here you are! And Miss Nott! Back for more granola?”

“Of course,” Nott said brightly. “It was very...crunchy. Caleb liked it, didn’t you, Caleb?”

“O-oh, _ja,_ it was, erm, delicious,” Caleb stuttered, eyes landing everywhere except on the cook himself. “I liked the dried blueberries in it.”

“I’ll have to make more of it for you another time, then,” Caduceus said serenely. “Today’s batch has almonds and cranberries instead.” He handed over a paper bag to Nott, taking a couple silver in return.

“Oh,” Caleb said, not seeming put off at all. “Then I will have to have some.” Then, finally _looking_ at the man. “My, that is a, er, _interesting_ apron you have on, Mister Clay.”

“Thank you.” Caduceus beamed. “Miss Jester here made it for me.”

“You did? This Jester?” He looked curiously at the blue tiefling currently sitting on the counter. His eyes shot to Beau’s, a silent _This is the one?_ flickering behind his gaze. Beau nodded minutely. “You must have some excellent sewing skills.”

Jester shrugged, shooting him a cheeky grin. “I make a lot of my own clothes. There aren’t enough cute things for people with tails.”

“Really?” Beau asked, impressed. “I thought there’d be a ton of options. Lots of people have tails.” 

“Yeah, but they’re all adjustments on _un-tailed_ clothes, not originals made just for me,” Jester said, face twisting up in disgust. “And they always make the tail hole too high. It’s literally right above my buttcrack, Beau, it’s not like I can exactly wear regular pants without my whole butt hanging out.”

 _Doesn’t sound like much of a downside to me_. “Yeah, that sounds like it could be a problem.” Beau nodded. 

“She made her own uniform, too,” Caduceus added proudly. “It’s very nice.”

“But Fjord wouldn’t let me make him a matching one,” Jester said with a pout. “He could have looked so _cute_.”

“She was going to give him a _cravat_ ,” Nott told Caleb and Beau in a conspiratorial stage whisper. “And lace cuffs. He would have looked _very_ dashing.”

Beau stifled a snicker at the mental image. 

“Hey, stranger, it was nice meeting you but we need to get going,” Nott said quickly, shoving Beau back towards where Jester was still sitting on the counter. “Just popped in for some granola and a bran muffin or two. Gotta stay regular, you know,” she said with a toothy smile. “That’s the only reason we came here, completely and totally just for granola. Not for any other reason.”

“Of course,” Caduceus said with a nod. “That is why people tend to come to restaurants. It was nice seeing you, Mister Caleb. Come by again in a few days-- I’ll have more of the blueberry for you. It’ll knock your socks off.”

After they left Beau turned to Jester. “So how do _you_ know Nott?” She raised an eyebrow. 

“She’s a regular,” Jester said with a giggle. “And we started a detective agency together. We solve _mysteries,”_ she said smugly. 

“What kind of mysteries?” Beau asked, raising her eyebrows. 

“Well,” Jester said slowly, tucking a lock of hair behind one ear as she thought. “Last week we found out who a lost umbrella belonged to. And last month we deduced which customer clogged the toilet.

“And, uh...what did you do about that one?” Beau said with a cringe. 

“Nothing, we just wanted to know,” Jester shrugged. “And find out if maybe we should stop letting people eat the bran muffins on premises.”

“They have tofu for added protein and lentil flour in them for structure, so they’re quite potent,” Caduceus added proudly. “Number one seller on Sunday mornings. Goes great with goodberry jam.”

“How do _you_ know Nott, Beau?” Jester asked curiously, still swinging her legs on the counter.

“I--” Beau paused. “You really want the truth?”

“Yeah!” Jester nodded effusively. Caduceus looked on with interest.

“She and Caleb tried to swindle me out of my pocketbook with street magic,” Beau said with a laugh. She scratched her scalp-- gods, she _really_ needed a good buzz soon-- and retold the tale fondly. “They were doing cool stuff with illusions and some gaudy displays, and they seemed kind of-- worse for wear-- so I went to go give them some cash and maybe tell them about the Cobalt Soul’s food pantry. And when I went to go grab a card from my pocket Nott’s fuckin’ hand was there instead.”

“She was going to _steal_ from you?” Jester asked, eyes wide.

“That doesn’t seem right,” Caduceus said slowly.

“I mean, this was years ago, she’s a totally different person now, and she was _really_ hungry, and I mean, let’s be real, I was like-- like I was just fresh out of school, you know? So I probably still looked like an easy mark.”

“Anyway, I was so startled I broke her hand. I made Caleb promise to take her to the CS’s free cleric sessions so, you know, maybe they wouldn’t have to fuckin do that anymore. And it’s all worked out in the end,” Beau concluded with a shrug. “They’re good people. They were just in a bad place.”

“They _are_ good people,” Caduceus confirmed for Jester. “Caleb has-- told me some of it. Nott says she’s still trying to make him eat more, but sometimes he hoards food instead of eating it.”

“That’s why you give them extra pastries, right?” Jester asked, understanding dawning on her face. “And make them take home the produce we can’t sell?”

“Exactly,” Caduceus said with a gentle smile. “He’s a very nice man, that Caleb. Very, very nice. He just doesn’t seem to know it.” His eyes turned to Beau, as if trying to decide what kind of person _she_ was. “Let me go get that pasta for you, Jester. I made a tester batch of sausage this morning, but, you know--”

“You don’t eat meat, yeah, I got you,” Jester said brightly.

Beau coughed, not quite able to look at Caduceus as she made a terrible observation. “I bet Caleb would like your sausage,” she muttered under her breath. 

“Pardon?” Caduceus asked, long ears twitching as he turned to face her.

“ _Nothing_.”

\--

Back at the apartment, Beau and Jester heaved the fruits of their shopping through the door just as the enchantment wore off, sending the boxes, pillows, and the unfortunate candle clattering to the floor. Beau groaned, but bent down to gingerly retrieve one of the small potted plants Jester had insisted on.

“This won’t hurt Sprinkle if he gets toothy on it, will it?” Beau asked warily as she set it in front of the front window. “Like he won’t be allergic to it?”

“I don’t think so,” Jester said, picking up the pillows in one large hug. “He doesn’t eat plants, anyway. He’s a carnivore.”

“Oh.” Beau heaved up the heavy box with her bed frame in it and carefully pulled it down the hallway, maneuvering it into her sparse room. Now that she looked at it from this angle, it _was_ a little sad to have all her stuff on the floor. Maybe this would be worth the ridiculous price tag and effort of transporting everything. 

“Do you need help putting it together?” Jester asked from behind her. She pushed past Beau into the room, depositing the pillows in a corner before flopping on the floor next to Beau’s “desk.” Her skirts poofed around her, her tail flicking back and forth in the air behind her in little curling figure-eights. 

“Nah, I got it,” Beau said. “You go do...whatever it is you usually do on your day off. Probably not building furniture.”

“Mostly I paint or talk to the Traveler,” Jester said jovially. Her eyes twinkled. “Have you met him yet? You’ve been here almost a week already.”

“Uh--” _Wasn’t that her god_? “No? I’m not, uh, really a...super religious person,” Beau said stiffly. The monks were bad enough, always trying to frame Beau’s training as a service to their main deity and not the way Beau saw it, which was just learning to be a good person.

“The Traveler isn’t either!” Jester said, beaming. “He’s just a super cool guy that gave me magic powers and stuff, and sometimes I talk to him and he gives me advice. I mean, he’s a god, yeah, but he’s like...a _cool_ god.” She wiggled her fingers to mime something Beau couldn’t quite decipher. 

“Gods usually give you missions though, right? What does he have you do?” Beau asked as she sliced open the furniture’s box with one of the knives she had laying out on the floor in a tidy line. “Like is there a Traveler temple around here? I don’t think I’ve ever seen one for him.” _Or heard of him_ , she didn’t add.

“Well,” Jester said slowly, “He doesn’t have an _official_ temple, but I make little shrines for him, and I sneak pamphlets everywhere. Caduceus let me put a stack of them at the Fungus.” Her tail flicked back and forth as she grinned mischievously. “And I make offerings to him whenever I can, if you know what I mean.”

Beau’s back prickled with sweat the way it always did when Jester started phrasing things that way. “I don’t, actually,” she said as calmly as she could. 

“Dicks. Dicks everywhere,” Jester elaborated at last. “And a little bit of time paddling the pink canoe on weekends.” She winked.

“Oh, you go rafting?” Beau said, cool as a cucumber. _You can do this, Beau_. “That’s cool. I didn’t know there were any good rivers around here.”

“No, silly, I masturbate! He likes it when we _know ourselves_.” She giggled.

“ _Okay cool neat_ ,” Beau wheezed, viciously ripping open the rest of the cardboard box to hastily pull out the bed frame pieces. “Well, I think I’m set here, Jes. You go, uh, talk to the Traveler, and I’ll get this all set up. Let me know when the mattress gets here and I’ll drag it in.”

“I can probably get it for you,” Jester said. “I’m strong as heck, remember?”

“Yeah, you’re stacked,” Beau said, nodding. “Yup. Couldn’t forget that if I tried. Yeah, just bring it in here when it gets here, I guess?”

\--

Five hours later, edging into dinner territory, and the mattress still hadn’t arrived. Beau had managed to get the frame together mostly correctly, though a few of the pieces were a little crooked and probably not arranged exactly as the directions specified. It was a lot bigger than the twin Beau had slept on at Dairon’s, and looked almost intimidating in the room with nothing on top of it to make it seem smaller. It was just… a frame. Blocking out half her room.

“Hey, did the thing get here and I didn’t hear?” Beau called out her open door. Jester had been in her room for most the afternoon, humming as she worked on a project and then went quiet, leaving Beau to her work. 

No answer.

Beau groaned as she shook out her stiff muscles, standing up and cracking her back before peeking out the door. 

“Jester? Did you open the mattress up in the living room? I know they said it would come in a little box, but it’s gonna get bigger when we open it--”

“It’s not coming,” Jester called back softly. She sounded worried. Beau hurried down the hall and ducked her head in. Jester was laying on her bed amidst a pile of laundry and quilts, a newssheet above her head. Sprinkle was calmly piled on her chest, seemingly asleep. That explained why she was being so quiet. Jester pointed to the front page. “There was a mattress factory fire this morning across town. You’ll probably get a letter about it in the morning. This is like _super_ sad, Beau, do all the people that worked there just not have jobs now?”

“What?” Beau blanched. “This is a joke, right? That’s like something out of a bad novel. There can’t just be a mattress shortage. That’s not...that’s not a _thing_.”

Jester shook her head seriously. “Apparently it was the only mattress factory for _miles,_ and all the stores have to cancel orders because the war front needs mattresses more than civilians. I don’t really understand it all, but I’m sure it makes sense if you really think about it.”

“I-- okay.” Beau took a deep breath. “No mattress. Maybe not for awhile. I’ll just...sleep in my sleeping bag. On my floor. Next to the giant bed frame I built for no reason. Cool cool cool.”

“Oh, wait! I can fix this! _Beau_.” She sat up quickly, displacing a very startled Sprinkle. She tossed the newspage aside and rolled off the bed, dancing over to Beau and grabbing her hands. “Beau, we can have a _sleepover_!! You can sleep with me! Don’t you want to sleep with me, Beau?” She batted her eyelashes-- a decidedly calculated move.

Beau narrowed her eyes at Jester. “I don’t know…” she said suspiciously. 

“I can braid your hair, and we can have hot chocolate, and you can show me that spicy book you were talking about earlier,” Jester said, bouncing in place. Her eyes took on an almost fiery glow as she seemed to put a plan together. “My bed is really big so we can just share it until your mattress gets here. I don’t really snore but sometimes I talk in my sleep a little, but--”

“It’s fine, it’s-- yeah, okay, that-- that sounds nice,” Beau reluctantly agreed. The problem was that it _did_ sound nice. _Too_ nice. Beau wasn’t sure she’d survive it. 

Jester beamed and ran out of the room, presumably to start the hot chocolate. Beau looked at Sprinkle, who was now gently fussing with his fur on the floor. He looked up at Beau with a distinct air of apprehension.

Beau sighed and matched his look. “Yeah, buddy, me too.”

\--

The night actually went really well, all things considered. They ate dinner together-- some of the leftovers Caduceus had given them-- and spent some time getting ready for bed. When at last Beau had her hair combed for the night and her sleepwear on, she carefully trod down the hall to Jester’s room. 

The tiefling was already sitting on her bed, leaning on a mountain of pillows with the book Beau had lent her in her hands. She patted the bed next to her when Beau knocked on the door frame. 

She was also wearing a very frilly nightgown. Beau looked down at her own sleep attire-- shorts and a tank top-- and suddenly felt very under-dressed. Nonetheless, she shrugged and jumped on the bed next to Jester, scooting around to get comfortable in what Beau could only classify as a nest. 

“Did you start it yet?” Beau asked, nodding at the book. The book-- _The Devil’s Bride_ \-- was slim, but obviously well-read, its pages dog-eared and the spine cracked. Beau had gotten it more than second-hand from a former friend, who had gotten it from a classmate, who had gotten it from their sister, and so on and so on. Its contents had featured heavily in many of Beau’s past daydreams. 

“I only read the beginning,” Jester admitted, flipping through the pages idly. “Did you want to read it to me?”

“I’m not great at voices,” Beau warned her. 

“Yeah, but you _know_ the characters, that’ll make it better,” Jester said encouragingly. She plopped the book on Beau’s lap and took up her mug of hot cocoa. “Do it, do it, do it,” she chanted.

So Beau did. Slowly, with badly done voices, she read the tale of a woman captured by a cult to be sacrificed to their demon god, only to find that ‘sacrifice’ meant ‘marry,’ which _obviously_ meant they would have to consummate the relationship...only to find that the demon god was sensitive and wanted someone who would love them for their personality, not their massive cult following. It was surprisingly well-written for the genre, and one of Beau’s favorites. 

“Aw,” Jester sighed when they got to the ending a couple hours later. She’d long since tucked herself under the covers, head leaning on Beau’s shoulder, her eyes slowly drifting shut. “That was beautiful, Beau. Are there any sequels?”

“There’s one, but it’s about their son, not the same characters. Not really my thing,” Beau said with a shrug. “They have a cute cameo as an old married couple, though.” She cracked her neck and tucked herself under the covers too, making sure not to get too close to the middle of the bed lest she move into Jester’s half. Jester had no such compunctions; she promptly threw an arm around Beau’s waist, snuggling up to her side with a soft sigh. 

“I’m so glad you’re my roommate,” Jester said sleepily, a small smile on her face. Beau swallowed and looked away; if she stared at Jester’s hair fanned out behind her, the way her eyelashes fluttered as she lay against Beau’s side… she wouldn’t be able to stop herself from wanting more.

“Yeah,” Beau said hoarsely. She tugged the covers up over the two of them, patting Jester on the shoulder. “You like me, right?”

“A whole bunch,” Jester assured her, nuzzling her face into Beau’s shoulder. “You’re super nice, and you do cool monk stuff, and you’re not even mean to Sprinkle.”

“Sprinkle’s cool,” Beau said softly. She gently ran her fingers through Jester’s hair. It was incredibly soft, the navy blue of it almost inky in the dim light of the lamp. “He’s just a little weasel.”

“That’s what _I_ said,” Jester said with a yawn. And with that, she was asleep.

And if Beau lay awake for several more minutes, still petting Jester’s hair and gently running her finger along the dark curve of one horn, that was between her and her conscience. 

  
And if she woke in the middle of the night, Jester pressed up against her back and arms tucked around her waist, legs bent into the divot behind Beau’s, breath soft on the back of her neck, and _still_ Beau did not remove herself...well, that was between her and her heart.


	4. Advice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Beau seeks out some advice from a friend. Jester reveals that she knows why Beau moved in with her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow!!! Sorry for leaving you all in the dark for so many weeks. I had a version of the last chapter that I wasn't super happy with, so I ended up removing and rewriting it. I hope you all enjoy this one! I know we could all use a little extra entertainment right now. I'm currently out of work and stuck at home, so I have a lot of time to just create things!
> 
> As always, I love reading comments. They really tide me over through the hard times. Sometimes your comments are the only things that keep me working on a project, even if I think it's not going well. Seeing people enjoy what I make means a lot to me!
> 
> You'll also notice that there's been a rating change; this is because I've decided to keep THIS story rated T/borderline M, then post the NSFW chapter separately for those of you who don't want to read it. :)

“Did it help? I helped, right? You’re all smoochy now?” Nott’s face was directly in Beau’s the moment she trotted into the library and up to the volunteer desk. Beau was pretty sure she was dangling off the counter somehow. She had to be, to get her wide yellow eyes up that high. 

“No, we’re not _smoochy,_ ” Beau grumbled. “You didn’t do anything except act like a fucking weirdo that shits too much. Whose side are you on, anyway?”

“I’m on the side of _love_ ,” Nott claimed effusively, clasping her knobbly green hands together in front of her chest before swaying a bit in place. “I’m part of the Nott the Best Detective Agency. I’m here to solve mysteries, and right now my number one mystery is _why you two aren’t boning yet_.”

“Oh, fuck off.” Beau shoved Nott off the desk, ignoring the indignant squawk she got in return. 

“Unfortunately, my friend, I do not think you are helping as much as you think you are,” Caleb said as he came up behind the goblin, giving her a pat on the head. “This is a bit more delicate than your usual shenanigans.”

“Yeah, there are other mysteries to solve out there,” Beau said, trying to drag the conversation away from her and Jester. “Like whether or not Caduceus is trying to woo Caleb via granola. That’s a good one, right?”

“That’s not--” Caleb flushed, fists waving away the thought.

“Yes, that _is_ a tantalizing line of inquiry,” Nott agreed, nodding. She stroked her chin with one hand. “I’ll have to get my partner’s assistance on this one.” Her yellow eyes flicked back to Beau. “You’re not off the hook yet, though.”

Beau groaned, dropping her face into her hands. Shelving would have to wait. “Fine. You want tantalizing? We shared a bed for a week straight because of that stupid fuckin...mattress factory fire. A week. And she’s a _cuddler_.”

Nott squealed, bouncing on her toes. For his part, Caleb also looked unrepentantly amused. 

“But you have your bed now?” Caleb asked. “You are not sleeping together anymore?”

“Well…” Beau flushed, dragging one hand down her face. “Sometimes she naps in my bed while I work on paperwork.” 

“But you are at your desk?”

“Yeah, my desk,” Beau said flatly. 

“Then what is the problem?”

“Because--” Beau let out a strangled groan. “Because _I’m_ in my bed then too. My desk is still that stupid dinky lap desk.”

“The shitty piece of wood you found in Dairon’s back yard?” Nott asked. Beau nodded, grimacing.

“I see.” Caleb looked at her with what she was sure was a laugh in his eyes, though he did not let it out loud. 

“This is so juicy,” Nott said gleefully. “Why not just tell her how you feel?”

“Because--” Beau swallowed through the lump in her throat. “Because I actually _like_ her now. She’s-- she’s funny, and really sweet, and weird but-- but in the right ways. She’s weird in ways that compliment _my_ weird. And I don’t want to ruin it.”

“Well, if you want my advice--”

“I don’t,” Beau assured her.

“Well, if you want Caleb’s advice--”

“Also not really wanted,” Beau reminded her. 

“Yasha would give you good advice,” Caleb said quietly, finally breaking his silence. “She has...been through something like this before.”

“Oh--” Beau startled, sitting up straight. Why hadn’t she thought of that before? But… “Does Yasha even own a phone?”

“She has a landline for emergencies,” Caleb said. “Why not call her and Zuala up and see what they think?”

They chatted for a while longer before finally, as a group, getting to work. Even Nott helped a bit, carrying a tall stack of books for Caleb and Beau to put away on the higher shelves. 

After work, Beau went home as quickly as she could. Jester’s door was closed, the typical sign that she was either out of the house or talking to the Traveller and needed some privacy. Beau ducked into her own room, shutting the door behind her.

Her room had really shaped up since their visit to ORKEA. There were now a few short shelves that Beau had filled with books and trinkets. The bed frame’s drawers and her closet were full of her limited wardrobe and other linens, and she even had a potted aloe sitting cheerily on the windowsill-- a housewarming gift from Caduceus. The bed was still in a bit of disarray because Beau was terrible at making it when she woke up, but the pillows Jester had picked out at least added a splash of color and texture to the display. It looked like someone actually _lived_ there. 

It was startling how quickly the little apartment was starting to feel like home. Prior to this Beau had been reluctant to accrue belongings, as she had known her housing was temporary, and nothing had made her more anxious than the idea of having capital-S _Stuff_ to haul around. It was much easier to live sparsely and just adapt as necessary. 

Jester was her exact opposite, and seemed to have an endless supply of tchotchkes and knick knacks that migrated on a regular basis out of her bedroom and into every other space, including, but not limited to: the living room (blankets, sketchbooks), the kitchen (shoes, books), and the bathroom (a finished painting, a half-eaten pudding cup). The whole apartment was filled with constant reminders of Jester’s little quirks and all the things that endeared her to Beau. 

It was maddening. 

Beau dropped heavily onto her bed, flopping back into the plush comforter Jester had insisted she purchase when she’d seen that Beau was just repurposing her sleeping bag as a blanket. She scrolled through her contacts, looking at the one she’d copied off of Caleb just that afternoon.

Beau stared at it for longer than she’d have admitted if asked. Her relationship with Yasha was...complicated. She’d met Yasha when the woman was in a long distance relationship with her then-girlfriend. Foolishly, Beau had thought this meant she’d had a chance. She’d flirted shamelessly, and Yasha had been gentle and friendly in return.

But Yasha had never quite responded the way Beau had hoped for. And when Zuala had finished her doctorate and come home to stay with Yasha for good, Beau finally met her...and accepted that Yasha would never respond to Beau the way she’d hoped. It had been surprisingly easy to let her go, because Yasha looked at her wife the way flowers looked at the sun. 

But Beau still had Yasha as a friend, and now Zuala too. After everything, Beau looked up to the two of them. They gave her hope that one day she’d find someone for herself. 

Yasha and Zuala had since retired to a farm plot out in the countryside, raising native flowers and keeping several hives of bees on the property. They didn’t often venture into town, but Beau knew they wouldn’t mind a call from the outside world.

hello?, said the voice on the other end when Yasha finally picked up. 

“Hey, Yash,” Beau said, laughing. “Long time no hear.”

“Beau!” Beau hear her lean away from the receiver. “Zuzu, it’s Beau!”

Beau heard a faint, “Wonderful!” from the other end and grinned. 

“How is everything?” Beau asked, already in a better mood. “Zuala staying out of trouble?”

“Oh, you know, due in four weeks and still insisting on doing the paperwork herself. She at least had to step away from the hives. She doesn’t fit in her beekeeping suit anymore.”

“Y’all decide on names yet? Last I heard you didn’t even know the sex yet.”

“Well…” Yasha hesitated, then seemed to hold the receiver closer, whispering. “We’re not sure about the other one, but we were thinking Molly for one of them. It’s a good name, yeah? Boy or girl or in-between?”

“It’s perfect,” Beau assured her. She swallowed heavily. 

“And how is work in the city? Have you gotten your expositor assignment yet?”

“Not quite there,” Beau said. “I’m out of CS housing, though. At least for now. Dairon basically said I was too advanced for her to hedge about needing to keep an eye on me anymore.”

“Well, that’s good,” Yasha said. “That means you’re no longer a teenage brat with an attitude problem. You’re not a menace to society.”

“Yeah, now I’m a fully formed _adult_ with an attitude problem,” Beau said with a grin. “And please, tell that last bit to Archivist Zeenoth.”

Beau paused, hesitating for just a moment. 

“Hey, Yash…?” Beau held her breath, the only noise on the line the crackling of static. “How did you know you liked Zuala?”

“Oh, I liked her the moment I met her,” Yasha responded immediately. Beau could hear the smile in her voice. “I was about sixteen at the time. I just knew immediately that we were going to be really good friends. My parents had already picked out a betrothed for me, but I spent as much time with her as possible.”

“But how did you know it was, uh, _love_ love?”

“Oh,” Yasha said, her tone turning a little darker, perhaps a little sheepish, as she replied. “Well, I had...I suppose I had resigned myself to _my_ marriage, but the idea that my Zuzu would marry someone she was not head-over-heels for was just impossible. I hated the idea immediately. She deserved better.”

“Is that when you asked her to marry you?”

“No, I made plans to stage a large-scale rebellion against the arranged marriage tradition in the village. I didn’t hate my betrothed, and neither did Zuala, but I suddenly realized that something just wasn’t right, and I… I suppose I reacted a bit strongly.”

“And… it worked?” God, was Beau going to have to stage a rebellion? Would she still be allowed to be an expositor if she did that?

“Oh, no.” Yasha laughed. “But Zuala and I ran away together as a form of protest. We didn’t even kiss until about a week after we left. She just dragged me down one night when we were bedding down in some tiny hostel, and said she couldn’t keep up the facade any longer, and that’s when it finally clicked.”

“Oh.”

“Why do you want to know?”

“Because, I…” Beau swallowed. “I think I might have caught feelings for someone.”

“Oh, Beau,” Yasha breathed. “I am so happy for you. That’s lovely.”

“It’s not,” Beau said with a wince. “I don’t think she likes me like that.”

“You’re sure?” 

“Well, no,” Beau admitted. “But we’re...we’re touchy, you know? But she’s like that with everyone. I don’t know what to do about it. About me. Yasha, I-- I’m going to fuck it up if I keep doing this.”

“The important thing is to stay calm,” Yasha said gently. “Do you think it’s serious?”

Beau heard the sound of Jester’s door cracking open and footsteps down the hall. She rolled over to face the wall, holding her phone closer.

“...yeah,” Beau admitted quietly. She rolled over in bed, curling around one pillow as she murmured into the phone. “But it’s still new, you know? I _feel_ like I’ve known her a long time, but it’s really only been a few weeks.” 

“Well, maybe you need more time? How did you meet?”

Beau flushed. “Online,” she mumbled. 

“Oh,” Yasha said awkwardly. “Was this one of your...stranger meetings...?”

“Yes,” Beau wheezed, curling so tight into the wall that she could feel the cool plaster pressing against her skull. “At least _I_ thought it was a… a _stranger meeting_. And maybe it wasn’t? Maybe she thought it was something else?”

“Beau. Beau, that’s… wow.” Yasha said. “That sucks.”

“I _know_ ,” Beau moaned. “Yash, I’m going crazy.”

“Hang in there, Beau,” Yasha said kindly. Beau could practically feel the awkward pat on the shoulder. “And keep me updated. Zuala is subsisting entirely on sour pickles and gossip these days.”

“You don’t have any advice?”

“Just… be honest. As honest as you can.”

“Alright,” Beau said, face falling. She scrubbed at her eyes, which were suddenly wet at the corners. “Love you. Let me know when the twins get here.”

Beau hung up with a sigh. If Yasha couldn’t help her, who could? She went to the bathroom to wash her face. She could hear Jester in the kitchen, softly singing along to something on the radio. Beau paused for a moment, closing her eyes and taking a deep breath. Honesty. Yeah. 

Beau was still staring at her haggard face and scratching at the beyond-grown-out fuzz on her head when Jester came down the hall before stopping outside the bathroom’s open door. 

“Hello, Beau,” she said quietly. She smiled, but it looked sad. 

“Hey,” Beau smiled back, just as fragile. “You okay?”

“Yeah, I am,” Jester assured her. “Just a little tired. The Traveler gave me some good advice though, so I think I’ll be okay.”

“That’s good. Hey-- can you help me with something?” Beau scratched at her scalp again, not liking the uncomfortable thickness of her hair along the sides and back. “I need a trim, and it’s easier if someone else does it. You don’t need to be really good at it or anything, it’s just one clipper length, but--”

“You want a haircut?” Jester perked up, her tail swishing behind her. 

“Just a quick shave,” Beau said quickly. “It’s just getting really uncomfortable, is all.”

“We don’t want that,” Jester said. “Oh, I’ve never shaved anyone before.” She looked excited by the idea, her tail flicking back and forth.

“It’s not hard,” Beau assured her with a smile. “You don’t mind?”

“I’d love to cut your hair, Beau,” Jester said.

Beau leaned over to rummage under the counter, digging around through the myriad of cleaning products before finding her clippers where she’d last left them. 

“You’re kinda short, so it’ll probably be easier if I sit,” she said, pressing the clippers into Jester’s hands. She eased herself down onto the closed lid of the toilet, turning to look back at Jester, who was turning the clippers over in her hands. “The guard I always use is already on there, so you don’t have to put it together or anything. You know how to do this?”

“No,” Jester said easily, now miming zipping away lines of hair. “You said it’s not hard, though, so I can probably figure it out.”

“Yeah,” Beau said, not quite nervous now, but definitely...something. She tensed as Jester walked up behind her, one blue hand resting on Beau’s shoulder and squeezing. “Just keep the guard close to my head and follow the grain of the growth. Try not to nick my ears. Nice and easy, yeah?”

“Yeah,” Jester said, her brow furrowing in concentration. She squeezed Beau’s shoulder again, then ran her fingers through Beau’s hair, pulling in flyaway strands and scratching through the grown-out fuzz on the sides as she hummed. Beau fought a shiver when Jester’s claws --trimmed, but still sharp-- ran down the nape of her neck. 

Beau sat tensely on the toilet seat, facing the wall, arms folded on the tank as she awaited the familiar buzz of the clippers. When the noise finally came and overrode the sound of Jester’s humming, it was almost a relief. 

Jester was hesitant with the clippers. She turned Beau’s head this way and that with her free hand, pulling hair out of the way or cradling one side of Beau’s skull as she ran the edge of it along the curve of her crown. Her hand was cool, smaller than Beau’s own, but her fingers were firm where they tapped against her head or directed her to change angles. 

The fuzz soon fell away in itchy layers, soft brown hairs falling to the bathroom floor as Jester neatly ran the clippers along Beau’s head, touching just as close as Beau had mimed for her. 

“Do you want me to do a fancy pattern in here?” Jester offered. “I think I’ve got it now-- I could probably do something really cool,” she said enticingly. “Like a heart, or maybe a flower?”

“Or a J for Jester?” Beau suggested. “Nah, let’s leave it plain for now,” Beau said with a huff of laughter. She reached up to smooth her hand over her skull, sighing with relief when she found it relatively even and smooth. 

She turned to stand, but was stopped by the sight of Jester in front of their bathroom mirror, brushing away stray hairs from her skirt, adjusting her clothes and hair almost instinctively. 

“Hey, Jester…” _Is this it? Am I doing this?_

“Yeah, Beau?” Jester turned, cheeks a light lilac with a flush. She smiled up at Beau easily, patting down her skirts just for something to fidget with. It was so... _endearing_. Beau’s guts twisted harshly. “Did I miss a spot?”

“No,” Beau said, suddenly feeling extremely nauseous. Sweat prickled at her armpits, beading on her brow. She wiped them away nervously, carrying the gesture over to rub at her newly-shaved head. “I have something to tell you.”

“Yeah?” Jester’s cheeks suddenly looked quite purple, a soft pink tone welling up under her usual cerulean. 

“It’s about how we met. I probably shouldn’t even bring it up, but...there was-- a misunderstanding,” Beau said, trying her best not to stutter as she backed further into the bathroom, facing the wall because she didn’t think she could look Jester in the eyes. “You’re gonna think it’s totally hilarious, and probably laugh at me for being dumb, but-- uh--”

“Is it about why you moved in?” Jester asked. “I know it was kind of fast.”

“Yeah, actually,” Beau said with some relief. “I’m glad you get it.”

“Well, Nott explained a little, you know?”

“Nott told you about— uh, about why I moved in?” Beau gaped, then flushed and angry red. _That nasty goblin bitch-_ \- “Then— you already know?” _And you let me act like this?_

“Yeah, she told me alllll about it,” Jester said sweetly. She grabbed Beau’s hands. “And it’s _totally_ okay, Beau, not everyone is ready to live on their own when they grow up. I’m not.”

“I-- yeah?” Beau choked. “Um-- what exactly did Nott tell you?”

"Well, she started by saying you were actually pretty shy but you had a big crush on someone real cute, I think because she was afraid I'd think you were a hardass? And that you probably wouldn't talk about it... and also she said you didn't have anywhere else to go and it was kind of pathetic so I should be super nice to you."

"Oh," Beau said flatly. "That's...everything?"

"And I get it, you know? Because I--" she flushed darker, almost indigo now. "I have someone I like too, even if it might never work out. And she was right! You are a big softy!”

"Oh," Beau said, trying not to let her face fall. Jester already had a crush on someone? Her mind raced. Was it Caduceus? He _was_ really nice to her. And Beau could see how he could be attractive: tall, cool hair, owned his own business. Jester was probably afraid to make a move because he was her boss. "It's cool, Jester, that shit's always hard. And for the record, I am _not_ a softy. Totally, uh, firm over here. Super duper tough. I don't just let _anyone_ cut my hair, you know? That shit takes trust. What if you'd shaved a dick in there?"

"The Traveler probably would have loved that," Jester admitted. "Maybe another time I'll do a really tiny one in there with a razor. Or we can do an elaborate up-do--"

"Save it for a formal Cobalt Soul event," Beau said with a grin. "They can't do anything if it looks professional on the surface."

"How does that work, anyway?" Jester asked as she put the clippers back in their case. "You lived there before, right? In the temple?"

"Sort of," Beau said, standing and scratching through her fuzz. Little bits of hair flew down to coat her shirt. Without thinking she removed her tank top, standing in her sports bra and shorts. She brushed the excess off her shoulders. Jester patted her down as well. "I wasn't really supposed to, but it was kind of an emergency. They usually only give housing to the real desperate or those in the high-up tiers of authority. I was sort of towards the former when I got there, and I'm not quite at the latter yet."

"Are you going to move back when you are?"

"I might, I don't know. It's not mandatory," Beau said with a shrug. She checked herself out in the mirror. Her heart was still pounding, but it was starting to calm now that they were on a familiar subject. "I kind of like it here."

"Kind of?" Jester asked, scrunching her nose up in mock-distaste. "Wow, _rude_."

"Oh, stuff it, Jes, I _just said_ I trust you," Beau said. "Don't go fishing for compliments."

"It's just, I heard you on the phone earlier, and you sounded kind of sad about something? Or mad?" Jester said. "I couldn't really hear and I promise I wasn't eavesdropping but--"

"Oh! Uh." Beau flushed. How much had Jester heard? "That, uh, that wasn't a big deal. Just-- a close friend who moved last year and, um, we hadn't really talked much, but I missed her."

"It's good you got to talk then," Jester said, though her tail lashed back and forth agitatedly.

"Yeah, I really love her," Beau said softly. "She gets me, you know?"

"Oh," Jester said, her voice small. Then her expression suddenly brightened. "But she lives far away?"

"I might go visit her soon, actually," Beau said as she ducked across the hall into her bedroom. "I could use a break from the city. Hey, you could come with me! Yash is great. She owns a farm, and they keep bees and grow flowers. It's right up your alley."

"I don't know," Jester said, hesitating. "I have to work. Caduceus only has me and Fjord to run the cafe when he's not there."

"Bring him along," Beau said, regretting it immedately. She chucked her shirt into the laundry basket and pulled out her lap desk. "He probably likes honey, right? Uses it a lot? Yasha would probably give him plenty as a freebie. He'd probably be really grateful to you."

"I don't know," Jester said again, sucking on her bottom lip. "I'll think about it. I wouldn't want to be a third wheel with you and your friend."

"You wouldn't be a third wheel," Beau assured her. "You'd be a-a _fifth_ wheel. Like one of those weirdass smart cars that are popular in Rexxentrum. Yash and her partner run the farm, then there'd be me, and then you and Caduceus? Just a real cool...uh...friendship car." She struggled to get back on topic, hands fiddling with nothing. "And you could probably pick up some cool recipes! They make a lot of stuff from scratch because Yasha doesn't like going out in public a lot." She patted the bed next to her. "C'mon, snuggle up, I gotta work on some paperwork. I’ll email Yasha about it.”

"Mmm, yeah, I'll think about it," Jester hedged. She flopped down on the bed, her poofy skirts fluffing up around her. She rolled over to rest her head next to Beau's hip, one horn just barely brushing her bare stomach. Her tail wrapped around Beau's ankle again.

Beau worked for a while. Jester was surprisingly quiet on the bed next to her. She didn’t even ask questions about what Beau was doing, which was unusual. When Beau looked down she was surprised to see that Jester’s eyes weren’t closed— not dozing as usual— but open, staring at her with an uncharacteristically pensive look on her freckled face.

"Everything okay?" Beau asked. 

"I'm just glad you're here," Jester said. Her tail tightened on Beau's ankle.

"Me, too," Beau said softly. She softly scratched Jester's hair right between her horns, tucking a stray lock behind one ear. Jester smiled sleepily at Beau before tucking her face into her hip. 

“I’m napping now. I am _pooped_.”

“Hard day?”

“Something like that,” Jester said. She yawned widely, snuggling ever closer before her breathing deepened and she went quiet. 


	5. The Rest Of It

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The final "chapter," which is actually more of a WIP with an outline attached.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well! It sure has been 9 months since I added to this! 
> 
> I want to start out with an apology, both for the gap and for the fact that this is not a true full chapter. As I was reading over this WIP I realized that the last time I'd worked on it:   
> -Veth was still Nott  
> -Caduceus's entire arc had not been addressed yet  
> -Beau hadn't even admitted to HAVING a crush on Jester in canon  
> -the Traveler hadn't revealed himself yet
> 
> I started this fic almost a year ago today! And for a little context-- it was one of the first things I wrote after being SEVERELY burned out from writing for most of 2019. Then January 2020 hit and I was bit pretty hard by the CR bug, and things went from there. This fic was super fun to make and a great idea at first. It allowed me to stretch my writing muscles and get back into making something silly and wish-fulfilling.
> 
> But ultimately I was unhappy with how it was going, and I think I'm never going to be satisfied with what I was doing with this one. 
> 
> I do, however, have a significant WIP/outline of how it was GOING to go, so that is what I have shared here.
> 
> Thank you all for your comments as I was working on this one, and for encouraging me to write once more. 2020 ended up being a really creatively fruitful year for me, and this fic was one of the catalysts for that.
> 
> Apologies in advance also for the poor formatting and constant switching of tenses. :T

“Remind me how this became a group trip?” Beau asked as she flipped through the map in her lap.

“Well,” Caduceus said in the driver’s seat next to her, cool as a cucumber, “Your friend invited you, and you invited Jester, and then you invited me to check out this farm, which I am super grateful for, by the way— and then I asked if Fjord could come along because I might need help carrying any goods we buy back and I’d feel bad leaving him in the shop alone. And Mister Caleb was in buying another bag of granola with Miss Nott, which is when Jester invited them—“

“Yeah, alright, big game of telephone,” Beau muttered. 

“There’ll be poisonous mushrooms, right?” Nott said, popping up behind Beau in the second row of the van. “Things I can harvest? Maybe get a little trippy out in the woods?”

“You’re not doing shrooms,” Beau said, shoving her face away. “Go sit down. How did you get out of your booster seat, anyway?”

“I’m a goblin, what the hell did you think I was going to do?” Nott asked. “My feet have fingers. I am perfectly positioned to— OW, CADDY, WHAT THE--”

Beau caught the goblin just in time to keep her from flying over the seat and into the windshield.

“Sorry, pothole,” Caduceus said placidly. “You should really stay seated, Miss Nott.”

“Nott!” Caleb said, grabbing the goblin back from Beau’s awkward hold. “If you do not stay seated I will not smuggle any mushrooms back for you.”

“No one is getting poisonous mushrooms!” Beau yelled. “Jester, tell them they’re not taking any poisonous mushrooms home.”

“What happens on the farm stays on the farm,” Jester said seriously. Beau grimaced and waited for a continuation, but it didn’t come. Jester had been unusually quiet the whole trip, mostly fussing with her sketchbook from the back row of the van.“Beauuuu, what is yasha like? Is she really pretty?”

‘

Caught off-guard, Beau spluttered. “Uh, yeah, I mean, she’s gorgeous. Super tall, super buff. She can be sort of quiet, but she plays a mean bone harp.”

“Is that a euphemism or— “ Nott asked.

“I play the bone flute!” Caduceus cut in as he turned a corner.

“Plays, he says,” Fjord muttered from the back seat with Jester. “He massacres the bone flute. You didn’t bring that horrible thing with you, did you?” he asked.

“I’m always ready for a music opportunity,” Caduceus said cryptically.

“Gods help me,” Beau said, looking to the roof of the old church van. “Turn left at the next fork and we’ll be there, Cad, unless a miracle happens and a sinkhole swallows us whole.”

They pulled up slowly and came to a dirt-clouded halt. Everyone stumbled out of the van, climbing over duct-taped seats and clambering to a halt in the tall grass on the side of the dirt road. 

A sprawling ranch house was in front of them. Bight white wood and pine with gables heavily laden with plants and windchimes swayed in the breeze. Beau looked around, smiling, and took a deep breath to calm herself. The air smelled like an assortment of sweet flowers, the perfume almost intoxicating. 

“Yashaaa!” She called. “Yash! We’re here! Come on out!”

“Beau?” Came a cry from around the corner. Beau had just enough time to blink before she was engulfed by a running barbarian. After a tight hug, Beau pulled back to look at her friend.

“You look good!” Beau said with a laugh. And it was true. Yasha’s hair was twisted and braided, long as ever, but piled on top of her head and tied back with a bright blue scarf. She still had her piercings and tattoos, but they were softened by a gleam of sweat and healthy glow as she smiled deeply.

“You too!” Yasha said, smiling warmly. “Less tired.” She looked around the motley group, taking in the odd assortment of people. Her eyes landed on Jester, who looked unsure of herself as she took in the wild land around them. Yasha leaned in close, seemingly for another hug, but whispered in Beau’s ear, “That’s her?”

“Yup,” Beau said, letting the P pop. “Please go easy on her.”

“Trowel talk, not the full shovel talk, got it,” Yasha said, squeezing Beau before letting her go. 

“Welcome to the farm,” She said warmly, clasping her hands in front of her. “Thank you for taking care of Beau.”

“Caduceus Clay,” Caduceus said, extending a long-fingered hand. He was the only one of a height with Yasha. “Your friend here said you and I might have some business in common.”

“I’ll see what we can dig up,” Yasha said, nodding solemnly. “Can I get you all some lemonade? Or some spider brittle?”

“Lemonade!!” Nott said conspiratorially to Caleb. “The good shit!”

“I’m so fucking sorry,” Beau said, pinching the bridge of her nose. “Nott, don’t be rude.”

“It’s fine,” Yasha said with a sparkling laugh. “It  _ is  _ the good shit. We have lemon trees, and the bees do amazing work with the lavender. Come inside. Zuala probably has some waiting for us.”

She led them through a landscaped path lined with flowers (each adorned with fat bees) and grasses into the oversized cottage. It was much cooler inside, all warm wood and tile, meticulously hand laid. They rounded the corner, met with a redheaded woman whose delicate halo lit her up in a fiery glow even in the shaded kitchen.She was heavily pregnant, one hand supporting her back as the other spouted water from one finger tip, filling the pitcher she fussed with.

“Zuzu! I told you I could handle drinks,” Yasha said, instantly running over to fuss at her wife. “You should be resting.”

“I can’t rest when the twins are clog-dancing on my bladder all the time,” the aasimar griped, though she sat herself down heavily in one sturdy wooden chair. “And paperwork is boring. That’s your job. I should be out there.”

  
  
  


  * Yasha tours them around the farm. Zuala tries but is very very tired and basically just coordinates from the recliner, where she has paperwork resting on her huge belly. She sleeps as much as she can and eats whenever she’s awake. Jester really likes Zuala. 
  * They have a big bonfire and cook things Yasha had hunted (scorpion? yeah) along with campfire bread baked in the coals of a smaller fire. Cad and Yasha talk bees and flowers, gently including Caleb in the talk. Cad claps Caleb on the shoulder and Caleb flushes. Fjord awkwardly encourages it. 
  * Beau thinks Jester likes Cad, of course, so encourages them to sit together. But Jester just talks abou work with him, then turns to Fjord and actually talks more about his experience camping. Then Beau has the OH, it’s not CAD, IT’S FJORD moment. That’s even worse! At least Fjord seems to have some interest in romance, unlike Caduceus. She leaves them alone together to do the dishes after dinner, retreating to the guest room for a minute so she can get herself under control. 
  * Nott pops up from a dark corner (“Fuck! Warn someone before you do that shit!”) and asks wtf Beau is doing. She should make her move now!!!
  * They go back out to the fire pit, where things are winding down. Nott immediately fucks off to watch the fireflies or smth after giving Beau a heavy wink. She’s never been fond of the woods because of some things in her childhood, but it’s actually pretty nice out here. 
  * Fjord goes with Nott (“to supervise,” he says), while Caleb retreats with a book to the living room and Caduceus and Yasha head in to see Zuala with a pot of tea to talk shop.
  * This leaves Jester and Beau sitting near the dying fire.
  * Around the fire, Beau and Jester listen to Fjord and Nott off in the distant dark of the orchard behind the house. It’s nice. The moon is almost full and it casts Jester in flickering silver highlights contrasted against the flickering shadows from the coals. Jester grabs Beau’s hand. They sit there a long time quietly, just listening to the sounds of their friends around them. 
  * Beau finally asks…”so how’s it going? With Fjord?”
  * “Fjord doesn’t want to get in on the mystery solving,” Jester says, and she’s kind of bummed about it. He also still won’t wear the whole outfit she made him to match her uniform, though he does occasionally wear the extravagant cravat she made him as a dust mask when cleaning. 
  * “You think you have a chance, then?” Beau says awkwardly. “With him?”
  * “With him what?” Jester asks confusedly.
  * “Uh. You know. _With_ him?”Beau shuffles, makes to pull her hand away. Jester won’t let go. “Never mind.”
  * Beau sees the moment it clicks in Jester’s mind. “I don’t like Fjord, silly,” Jester assures her, flushing purple but grinning wide. “Not like that. Maybe a while ago, yeah, but not anymore. We’re just super good buddies now.”
  * “Oh. Okay. That must have been hard.”
  * “What about Yasha,” Jester parries with. She’s been squirrely about it since they got here, and she talks fast now, not meeting Beau’s eyes. “She’s out here and she has a wife and an awesome farm with _bees_. Aren’t you jealous?”
  * “Yeah, I mean. A little. But that was never going to work out.”
  * “It doesn’t hurt to pine a little. That’s what the books are all about, you know? Remember MAIN CHARACTER in BOOK THEY READ?” 
  * “I’m not going to infiltrate her orchard as a lowly farmhand and hope she sees me dirty and scraped up after a hard day and decides to handwash me herself,” Beau said, giggling madly. 
  * “Still,” Jester says. “You still love her?”
  * “Yeah,” Beau admits, sighing. “But it’s getting easier. It’s a different kind of love. Like, I love Caleb too, but he’s more like...a brother. And I— “ she swallowed thickly. “I think I could love you too, you know? The same.”
  * “Aw, Beau,” Jester said. She squeezes Beau’s hand, then lets go. Beau misses the warmth immediately. “That was so sappy, oh my gosh.”
  * Aw, shove it,” Beau said, blushing. She takes a deep breath, then scoots closer to Jester. Jester does not move away.
  * “Jester—” 
  * Fjord and Nott come barrelling back, yelling about an owl that got territorial. Jester and Beau startle and break apart. 
  * The sleep situation is SUPPOSED to be boys’ room/girls’ room but Nott says she’s gonna check out the hammock Yasha/Zuala have on their back porch since it will be less claustrophobic than the tiny room crammed in with Jester and Beau.
  * Also, there’s only one bed. Again. Luckily Beau and Jester are used to sleepovers.
  * They lay in the dark in the bed side by side staring at the ceiling. The walls here are covered in portraits and family photos. One of Yasha and Mollymauk at the circus hangs above a desk in the corner, and Beau swears Molly winks at her from its frame. 
  * The room is homey, the quilt handmade, the pillows lumpy but full. Beau faces the wall and thinks that this is the worst kind of torture. She feels like a volcano bubbling under a thin crust on the worst island known to man. Eventually she’ll explode and fuck it all up. 
  * But it would be worse to not ever tell Jester why she really took the room in the first place and have someone else spill the beans. 
  * Then: “Beau? Are you awake?”
  * Beau sighs. “Yeah. You okay?”
  * She feels Jester shrug. “The bed is different, that’s all. I’ve only slept on my own bed before.”
  * “No sleepovers?”
  * “Not really,” Jester says, voice small. She snuggles up closer to Beau, a warm line along her back. “I didn’t go _anywhere_ as a kid.”
  * “Then you’ve got lots of time to make up for, right?” Beau asks. “Where’s one place you’ve always wanted to go?”
  * “I want to see a volcano,” Jester says with a sigh.
  * Beau gulps. Too close to home. 
  * “Hey, Jester.” Beau’s heart thunders in her chest, threatening to lodge in her throat and choke her into silence. She has to do this now, even if it’s the worst possible time. It’s not like she can just wake everyone up and ask Caduceus to drive them all home if this goes wrong.
  * “Yeah?”
  * “Nott was wrong about why I moved in.”
  * “What part?”
  * Beau huffs through her nose. “Well, not _wrong,_ but it wasn’t the whole truth.”
  * Jester pushed up on one elbow. “So what was?”
  * Beau covers her face with her hands and groans. “You’re not gonna want to sleep next to me after this.”
  * “Why not?” Beau can hear the frown in her voice.
  * “Because that’s what _always_ happens after I talk about this stuff to girls.”
  * She sits up, scooting away from Jester so she’s on the foot of the bed facing her. Jester is frowning, but still looks cute in her nightgown. 
  * “Okay. So.” Beau takes a deep breath, lets it out. Runs her hand through her hair, scratching over the undercut Jester helped her shave. “I moved in for stupid reasons. Also they turned out to not be totally true.”
  * “Like?”
  * “I thought. I don’t know. That you were into me. _Alsothatitwasahookup,”_ Beau mumbled in one breath. 
  * “A what?” Jester asked. “Say that again?”
  * “I thought,” Beau said, feeling the sweat start again, “that you made an ad to find someone to, like...top you. _Sexually._ Am I making myself clear enough? Fuck, this sucks, sorry—”
  * “Why would I make an ad for that?” Jester said, sounding confused. 
  * “I don’t _know,”_ Beau groaned, dropping her head in her hands. “But you also are like— the _queen_ of double-entendres, which I didn’t know when I met you, so. I mean.”
  * “Well!” Jester laughed a little manically. “That explains why the first person I had over to look at the room kept tripping into me. And the second one kept _really_ intense eye contact the whole time.”
  * “Yeah.” Beau sags. “Anyway, that’s it, okay? I just needed to say that.”
  * She goes to flop back on the bed and wrap up really tight in the blankets, but Jester yanks them away before Beau can burrito herself. “Wait!”
  * Beau glares and tries to yank the blankets back. Jester won’t give them up. 
  * “So you thought I wanted to have sex with you?”
  * “Yeah.”
  * “But we didn’t actually, uh, _hrmm-hrmm-hrmm,_ like, at all. You didn’t even try to kiss me.” 
  * “Nope!” Beau said, grimacing. 
  * “But you wanted to?”
  * “Yup!” Beau said, her voice reaching a new octave. She tugged on the blankets again. Jester yanked them back even further.
  * “Well, what if _I_ wanted to?” 
  * “What if you wanted to _what,_ Jester?” Beau demanded, focused solely on getting the blankets so she could hide.
  * “What if—” Jester pulled the blankets all the way, pulling Beau with her, until they yelped and fell on the floor together in a tangle. Beau groaned, looking up at Jester, who was pinning her to the floor. “What if I _wanted_ to, uh. Kiss you, maybe. And the other stuff.”
  * “It’s not that simple, Jester,” Beau said, hiding her face in her hands. She tried to roll away from Jester, but was tangled too badly in the sheets. “I like— fuck, this is _so_ embarrassing— I’m gonna say it anyway and ruin everything. I have like. _Feelings,_ or whatever, okay? And I fucked up _so_ badly that we live together now, so if I _do_ anything about it it’ll be weird.”
  * Jester frowned, gawing on her bottom lip with one fang. “Why would _that_ be weird?”
  * “Because you don’t like me that way?” Beau curled in on herself defensively. “You said you have a crush on someone and it’s not Fjord and it’s not Caduceus so it’s probably someone _else_ I haven’t met and that means I can’t even be competition for them because I don’t know what they’re _like,_ and—”
  * And then Jester was yanking Beau’s hands away from her face and Jester’s mouth was on hers, and suddenly Beau couldn’t talk because Jester kissed her and kissed her and didn’t let up until she stopped trying to talk.
  * When she finally pulled away, Beau was too stunned to move. “Uh?” she squeaked intelligently.
  * “Beau.” Jester said seriously. “You are very, very cute, and also very, very stupid sometimes.” She sighed. “But I like that, so maybe I’m stupid, too.”
  * “Um,” Beau continued very eloquently.
  * “I like _you_ , too, and I’m sorry I tricked you with my super hot butt.”
  * _“Tail,”_ Beau managed to say, sounding strangled.
  * “That’s near my butt,” Jester agreed. “Also, you are _very_ pretty and you show off your abs _all_ the time and it’s not fair, and I felt kind of bad about it because, like, I thought maybe I would make you feel self-conscious if I told you to put your shirt back on?”
  * Beau paused, suddenly very dazed. “We’re dumb.”
  * “Yeah, a little,” Jester said, giggling. She leaned down to peck Beau on the cheek, then clambered off her and back onto the bed, which was still in disarray. “Can we go to sleep now?”
  * “Okay, but we’re talking about this tomorrow.”
  * They sleep, Jester snuggled up like always, and Beau feels like she will burst from smiling so hard.
  * In the morning they load up Caduceus’s old van with produce and massive containers honey and many promises to visit again soon.
  * The ride back isn’t tense but Caduceus notes that Beau is in a very good mood today. Jester hums in the back seat while she doodles in her sketchbook and the rest of them chatter about the farm and what they’re going to do when they get home.
  * And then Beau and Jester arrive back at their apartment, and they walk in, and suddenly it’s just the two of them. 
  * And they look at each other, and smile, and go to sit down at the kitchen table they share to actually talk clearly for once now that it’s all out in the open.



THE END

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once more, thank you all for the support and love you gave this story. It really helped get me back into the creative spirit. I hope you enjoyed this jumble of a final installment, and that it wasn't too lacking for you. <3

**Author's Note:**

> If you'd like updates about this and all other fics I'm writing, please find me on Twitter at twitter.com/GoInterrobang. I post polls and snippets of stuff I'm working on!


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